Ostgard
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 Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 8:58 am Post subject: ER MAKES ARTICLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Is he great?
Parks's Coverage of the Anarchy Show Bonus?
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Contributor
Aug 4, 2007, 02:22[/b]
Traveling through out the coast I have been privy to numerous names in the business, some pleasant, some irrational and some in between. Last week I attended the NWA Anarchy event in Athens Georgia with Jim Powers whom I was assisting with his memoir project. When the show concluded I went backstage and made the usual rounds and small talk; when I witnessed this lanky kid running ramped and pre Madonna around the locker room. Powers informed me that his name was Edward Rich the lead announcer for the promotion. Rich approached me and it was obvious he was inebriated by the relentless flatulence emitting from his orifices. "I'm ER (I assume it's his initials), are you looking for a booking because I know people..." The conversation consisted of Rich dropping about 60 worker names some of which I have never heard of. I recall one I thought was quite humorous "George South". Another Anarchy worker "The Feature Presentation" Jeff Lewis came into frame and abruptly Rich ignored Powers and myself, began speaking to Lewis and walked away. Powers looked at me and remarked: "Douchebag." I however was fascinated by how this seemingly unabash announcer was able to develop a complex reserved for a Hulk Hogan level talent. I made it a point to give Rich my number in hopes of running an article on him for this weeks piece. Within 2 minutes he called me and agreed, which was strange because I could still see him across the locker room talking to other Anarchy workers. We agreed to an all day meeting so I was sure to garnered enough material to write my report. I arrived at Rich's residence in Greenville, South Carolina at 7:30 a.m. as agreed upon. Rich specified this was the time he began the trip to work. I waited in my car for 45 minutes until I eventually attempted to make contact with Rich. Upon knocking on residence door an elderly lady answered the door. I initially thought it was either a over-age lover or a housekeeper of some kind, the woman kindly informed me she was the mother of Rich and that he was still in bed. I waited in the kitchen until 11:30 when Rich woke up and ate the breakfast his mother had prepared for him. He argued briefly with her over the contents of the meal and eventually ended the discussion with "Next time just make me Apple Jacks". I began to get a glimpse of the man behind the mic while Rich got ready for worked and I was allowed into his room. His room was reminiscent of that of a Kay-Bee toy store with pro wrestling paraphernalia littered throughout and a makeshift WCW tribute screen saver on his computer. I nudged the mouse to spare myself from looking at Jeff Jarrett and was a little more than embarrassed to see the Asian porn clip that was looping on the desktop. I quickly turned off the monitor as to not embarrass Rich. While waiting for what seemed like an hour Rich whom sang the entire time in the shower and could be heard through out the house emerged and began riffling through a pile of clothes on the floor for something to wear. He initially put on a "George South Who?-George South Jr" T-Shirt which I immediately bulked and insisted he changed. He returned to his pile of wrestling t-shirt wadded up on the floor and put on a DX shirt which wasn't any better. He then began searching for socks, I informed there was a pile of socks by the computer chair, he made it clear they were unclean. I asked about his bazaar toy collection, which prompted him to show me valuable pieces of his collection such as his D-Low Brown bobblehead. Around 1:30 we eventually headed out for the day. After being treated to another vocal masterpiece to modern hits on the radio by Rich, we arrived at a makeshift car lot which Rich concluded was the point of operations. I then observed Rich in his natural state, many customers came and went through the parking lot but Rich stayed steadfast in his office on the computer. I asked him how many vehicles he sold that week, which he replied only one. I asked him if it was a tough sell, Rich said he got 50 bucks from a junkyard for a van that once belonged to indy wrestler "Hot Shot" Shane Austin. Rich's "office" is another wonder to behold as is stacked with the last 3 years of WWE catalog DVD's and various fast food restaurant kids meal toys. "I'm still trying to get Kahli's pre WWE matches I am currently in a bidding war on Ebay." he explained. Eventually I had to ask Rich if he always conducts himself at work this way and he replied: "My dad owns the place, he couldn't run in without me...and I have a long week of wrestling coming up" Not even close to answering my question I moved on and started to pick Rich's brain about his experiences in wrestling. "I was trained by Jay Eagle, he was very hands on with me, eventually I started a promotion called APW and its now a mainstay in the local area, Eagle used my talents to get it over and then I realized I am too big for APW and moved on." A asked him where he works besides NWA Anarchy at which replied, "APW". "I throw a mean hook and could be the next Ox Baker, but I enjoy announcing and retired after my wrestling tenure was over" When I asked him how long was he an active wrestler he responded "a eyelash over 3 weeks". Around 3:00 Rich decided it was time to call it a day and hit the gym. I didn't bring gym clothes and told him so, he responded that he never wore gym clothes and sure enough he went in khakis and a polo. After a warm up set, Rich hit the water cooler and remained there for 30 minutes until looking over and asking, "You good? I'm ready to go." We left the gym and Rich insisted we pull over for some gas, the tank full in but he was persistent. Rich made no attempt to even pump gas as he quickly purchased a 12 pack of Natural Light. "I like to relax after a stressful day at the office" was his retort to my looks of disbelief. We drove around Greenville as Rich continued on about his career highlights include-" I'm good friends with Kirby Mack, I really helped him get in the door", "I use to date this cock eyed chick, but she couldn't handle my celebrity status.", "I am a monitor on the Regal Board", "She drives me crazy from the Fine Young Cannibals is entrance music gold." I once won the Redneck Rumble title from Donnie Doolittle." Through out the day I started to take note that Rich was usually on his cell phone making prank calls, which were amusing but got old pretty quick. "I usually drive by Jay Eagles house and throw rocks, call OMEGA Promoter Thomas Simpson and pretend to be Thomas Simpson, or eat hot wieners from my trainee Boomer Payne's house". Around 7:00 pm I realized we were just driving around to drive around and asked Rich to take me back to my car, at which time I concluded the days events. I am still in wonder about just what is up with this guy I guess something will remain an enigma. |
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